Respect the group members and approach them with love. Openness, acceptance and empathy are key attitudes. Keep them in mind and try to practice them in the group. Criticism, rudeness, calling names or speaking behind the back of others have no place in the group.

Your partner group leader is not your rival. Support each other all along. (At the end of the program you will get a chance to reflect upon your cooperation. It is worth giving feedback honestly.) In the case of one or two group members misbehaving or trying to ruin the program, one of you can leave the group and bring a teacher-on-duty to separate the destructive members from the group by giving them something else to do.

Some groups simply don’t seem to want to talk about anything profound. As if it was not important for anyone in the group. There may be various reasons why a group would lack openness. This is not your fault. You may help them only at the point where they are; try to guide them towards more serious questions, but it is all right if your group is not ready yet to talk about serious things.

When nothing seems to work, go outside, lie down on the grass and let them talk about anything they feel like talking about. Just make sure you do not disturb the other groups.

Be not afraid, you will not ruin the retreat. You just facilitate an opportunity that the group may or may not use. God has the power to touch their hearts wherever they are, even through failures and blunders. Do not be afraid.

While you are leading the group let God work in your soul too.

We would like to hear about your experiences of success and your new ideas. Contact us here http://schoolretreats.jezsu.hu or by email laszloeleksj@gmail.com.

Careful preparation is the key to creating a pleasant and peaceful atmosphere in the room and throughout the program.

Preparing for the retreat

You can pass on to others only what you have, that is why there is a preparatory session for group leaders. Read through the description of the program some days before the retreat. Try out the games and the creative activity. Talk to other group leaders about the themes. You will not have time to work out how to use the manual on the spot. So in order to be able to use the manual easily and smoothly, familiarize yourself with all the details in advance.

Keep a copy of the program with you in case you are uncertain about the following step and not to leave out something important.

Include the retreat and especially your future group in your daily prayers.

Preparing the premises and the accessories

Arrange the room so that it does not resemble a classroom. Make it suitable for casual conversation by placing the chairs in a circle so that everyone can see each other. Have a candle, some fabric and cushions to make it cozy and intimate. Download some peaceful instrumental music on your phone and play it with the help of a speaker.

The manual lists all the necessary tools and accessories. Check what is provided by the organizers and what you have to bring yourselves. For setting the place and in the creative activity you are free to use tools and materials not mentioned in the manual.

Collect all things from the organizers before the beginning of the program and prepare everything with care to make the day as smooth as possible.

Tidy up and leave the room in order after the activities. Plan some time for it.

Do not forget to return the equipment to the organizers.

The timing of the group activities is in your hands. You are free to schedule the activities, but keep in mind that all of them - games, discussion, activities, prayer, tidying up, and breaks - have to fit in the time-frame. A good discussion may determine the success of the retreat. If the discussion is profound enough, it is never a waste of time.

Never close a meditation or a guided prayer abruptly. Gently tell the group that the prayer/meditation is coming to an end soon. This way you can enable everyone to finalize their sentences or thoughts. Stay with your group during breaks and snack time. You are the shepherd of your group, do not leave them.

Keep in mind that the creative activity always needs more time than planned especially if your group members are younger. Handing out the tools, giving instructions and tidying up afterward takes time. make sure not to leave anything out.

Never skip prayer!

Be punctual at the end, not to make the other groups wait for you.

To help the participants feel safe to open up, clarify rules, boundaries, and the framework of the day. Then the children will start getting to know each other and building up an atmosphere of trust.

Wait for your group to settle down and greet them. Introduce yourselves even if the members know each other.

Játszatok! Vannak játékok, amik a neveken túlmutató bemutatkozást is segítik. És a vidám játékoknak a szabad légkör megteremtésében is fontos a szerepük. Játszani jó.

Be brave, open up and let them get to know you.

Set the rules of cooperation: e.g. we will listen to each other, we will show respect, one person speaks at a time... Confidentiality is essential: what is said in the room remains in the room, and we will never share it with anyone else. There is no laughing at each other or making mean comments, because any honest answer is true.

Call the attention of the students to the importance of silence. There will be fun activities and solemn moments. Ask the children to take both the fun games and the quieter activities seriously.

Speak about what is ahead of the group, they will work individually in silence, have conversations in pairs, group discussions, sharing and prayer. (No particular details have to be shared in advance.)

Tell the group when there will be short breaks. (The timing is your decision.)

Games are good ways to help the children get to know each other and become a cohesive group. They release stress and bring the children closer to each other. They may help people settle down, focus, and listen to one another better. A well-selected game will be an organic part of the program.

Try the games you want to play. It is easier for you to select the games and you will come across more authentic if you lead the game based on your personal experience. After having played the game you can explain the rules much better. If the group members can see your enthusiasm, they will be more enthusiastic as well. It is not a problem if some students have never played the game before or if there are some who already have. Every time is a new experience.

JOur games have three objectives: to entertain, to facilitate group dynamics (enliven or settle down the participants) and to support the theme.

Before a serious discussion, play games that bring members together, to create better group cohesion, calm the students down and lead the group to more profound conversations.

Active games with physical contact will bring the group members together and create better cooperation. Grabbing, leaning on or holding on to each other is a good introduction to cooperative activities. Games that require walking or moving around, help conquer space.

Games that require concentration and focus generate quietness in the group. Note, that the calm is a consequence of the game, and not a pre-condition. Do not expect silence at the beginning of such games, just let the group members play. When they get the taste of it, they will become more focused and calm.

After more serious games, mini-reflections can make the experience settle more in participants. When you play such games you can ask some players afterward what experiences they had, how they sensed the others, what was hard for them, etc.

In the description of every game, you will find a recommendation when it is best to play it. Of course, you can play the games at any time, whenever you feel that your group needs some movement, a good laugh or on the contrary, they need calmness and focus.

At the end of this manual, you will find a collection of games. You are free to use any other games you know.

The purpose of discussions and sharing is not to collect smart ideas, but to verbalize and share feelings. These are opportunities for every participant to formulate and share what is happening in them, what they feel and think in the given situation. Reflecting on our feelings and expressing them is a way of self-help, but also by sharing our thoughts and feelings and by our example we may contribute to building up the others in the group. It is true in the case of sharing our struggles as well.

Encourage the group members to open up as much as they feel able to. If somebody really does not want to talk, keep encouraging them as well but never force anybody to talk. Everyone is free to pass now and then.

First talk about particular experiences: what happened, what you did. Later you can move on to feelings: what you felt, what you were thinking about, what you wanted at the time. Based on these questions it will be easier for the group to tackle more profound topics. (as soon as the conversation has reached a certain depth, you need not follow all the steps.)

Avoid reading the questions. It will come across more genuine if you think about it beforehand, and then you will be able to freely, with your own words, introduce the topic and ask questions. Cooperate with your group leading partner and take turns asking your group.

Do not insist on asking all the questions. If a certain topic seems to capture the attention of the group let them discuss it as long and as deeply as possible.

Never hesitate to mention God. Do not be pushy, and avoid creating the impression that they ought to be talking about God, but you may boldly ask questions in connection with Him.

If your group has wandered away from the topic, gently steer them back to it. If it does not work, never mind, stay with the issue the children seem to be more interested in.

Make sure that all group members are given the opportunity to speak and express their opinion freely. Encourage the quieter children to speak up boldly.

Avoid asking yes-no questions (to which you would surely get the shortest possible answer). Ask questions that elicit expositions.

Help the students speak about their own life and experiences instead of generalities. E.g.: What does it mean for you? What do you think about that?

A question that everyone answers with only one word is a good conversation starter. After that a freestyle conversation may develop, but encourage the group members to stay with the topic and give everybody the a chance to speak.

Especially younger children (grades 5-8) try to do or say what they think the leader of the group expects from them. They subconsciously try to figure out the ‘correct answer’. Therefore, when you want to illustrate with examples the kind of response you are expecting, give a lot of very diverse ‘correct answers’ to help them feel free to formulate their own answers.

We may meet God during the retreat at any moment, not only during prayer. Still, actual prayer- time, when we consciously turn to God is a very important part of the program.

Our recommendation is to place the prayer-time close to the end of the retreat as it is the crown- ing event of the day. Never leave out or skip prayer.

Praying is the time of silence. Create the outer conditions for it and give time for settling down as it does not always happen automatically.

Silence changes how we perceive the passing of time. Very often we may think 15 minutes have already passed, while it is only 3. It is best to measure the time with a watch. Be patient to allow the necessary time for the group to immerse in the silence.

Leading a guided prayer often seems the hardest part for many group leaders. It helps if you prepare and talk about it with the other group leaders beforehand.

You will find useful tips in Part III. Tips and Tricks. There are more prayers for youth groups in Hungarian on the Regnum Marianum website, ranging between two minutes and two hours long. http://lelkigyakorlat.regnum.hu/?p=imaotletek_vezetoknek.

Guiding prayer is not not an easy task, and requires diverse skills. But do not let all these recommendations intimidate you. True, leading a group is not the easiest of service, but remember that you are not alone. You can rely on each other, and the grown ups who organize the retreat will also try to help you if there is a problem. And never forget that we are only helpers of God in this activity. God is so much greater, stronger and more loving than we are; He can make anything possible. He can touch the hearts of the group members even when things do not work out the way you planned or the children do not seem to open up. And God would like to touch your hearts too.

Take a deep breath and put your trust in Him!