We organized this retreat in 2018 in the Fényi Gyula Jesuit High School with 700 students. The description below can be used by group leaders as is.
Jesus the Son of God was not born in an elegant palace. He was born in a dirty, smelly, and probably cold stable. He is not avoiding us today. He willingly comes to our hearts, even if our hearts are not always shiny and clean, even when we are clumsy, lazy and sinful. We are going to build a nativity scene together. It will be like our hearts: not very orderly, not perfect, but there are colours, warmth, ideas and love in it. Let us build our stable in which we can receive Jesus. Maybe it will bring more warmth, purity and love to our own hearts too.
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Every group leader brings:
We provide for each group:
We start with singing. E.g.: O Come O Come Emmanuel. Then we introduce the theme of the retreat. The following meditation may be helpful.
It may be more interesting if the readers of Bible passages read from various corners and in the gallery of the church or hall. Prophecies sound really impressive from above. A good sound system is important.
We can read these prophetic scripture passages at the beginning or at the end of the retreat, with or without explanations, one after the other, maybe with Advent hymn verses sung between readings.
Let us fly back in time, several hundred years before Jesus. These were hard times for the Jews of the Old Testament. Let us imagine what it was like.
…Our country is under occupation, and everything is in ruins in the country where we used to live. It is worse than the coronavirus pandemic or the world war, because we were forced to leave our homes. Families were torn apart. We can’t be together with our loved ones. We had to move to another country where we do not speak the language. We do not know anybody here. They eat strange food. We do not understand them. There is no hope that we will ever see our friends and family again. We do not want to have children, what is the point? Who will raise them? Our culture and our language and everything that is ours will die with us.
This was going on and on for several centuries. Generation after generation lived like that. What were they expecting from God in Israel and Judah? And what did God say to them at that time? What was he telling them through his prophets again and again?
Isaiah 7:14 “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Look, the young woman is with child and shall bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel.”
“A young woman is with child and shall bear a son”. It is the hope of resurrection, life going on: a boy child. Hope is a pleasant, believable picture about the future. For example when I have a hard time studying, I can only hope that if I do well tomorrow at the exam, it will feel really good, and my parents will praise me, and they will be happy. The true hope is that they will be happy about me no matter what. Even if I don’t do well on the exam.
God is telling us even more: Isaiah 11:1-4a “A shoot shall come out from the stump of Jesse, and a branch shall grow out of his roots. The spirit of the Lord shall rest on him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. His delight shall be in the fear of the Lord. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide by what his ears hear; but with righteousness he shall judge the poor and decide with equity for the meek of the earth.”
“A shoot shall come out from the stump of Jesse” - we are talking about a stump of a felled tree, probably covered with moss already, but it shoots a new branch that grows into a large tree again. We may think we do not know too much, and that we will never be good enough at a subject for example. But when we let God enter into our life we can discover absolutely amazing qualities in ourselves where we earlier had thought there was nothing.
While we are waiting for God to enter into our life He is sending us more messages. Isaiah 40:3-5 “A voice cries out: ‘In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain. Then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all people shall see it together, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.’”
“Prepare the way of the Lord!” - So we are not supposed to waste time doing nothing or feeling desperate, or wallowing in self-pity. The Lord is coming. It is great news, and it is already happening. May we believe that He is good, that he is Goodness Himself. He wants to give the best for us. What will it be like? The prophet tells us:
Isaiah 42:1-4: “Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations. He will not cry or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; a bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice. He will not grow faint or be crushed until he has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for his teaching.”
“He will not cry or lift up his voice” - he is gentle, and is not coming as some people expected Him to, to put everything in order and destroy the enemy by lightning and a flaming sword. He often comes very differently than how we expect Him to. A real surprise! He comes tenderly, not with a big noise. When we stumble, he raises us up, when our little light is growing faint, He helps us shine.
What is He bringing for us? Isaiah 51:4: “A teaching will go out from me, and my justice for a light to the peoples. I will bring near my deliverance swiftly.” Sometimes we study hard, but we can’t do well in the exam, and get a bad grade. Then we become frustrated, angry, we are afraid of what our parents will say, that we are not good enough. This is where God will bring His justice and deliver us from every bad feeling. We will receive more than we deserve.
Imagine what the Jews of the Old Testament felt when they heard these prophecies. What do we feel?
Have all the tools and materials ready for each group to create the part of the nativity scene they have been allocated.
These games help us arrive. We move, meet and quieten down. Take your time. (You can choose from the games below. There may not be enough time for all. Choose the ones you liked the most during the preparation session.)
It is not a problem if some children already know these games. They can play them again. When you come back from the break, you may need a quiet game rather than a lively one.
The retreats usually have one or more background stories that the children hear at the beginning of the program. In this game the children have to mime the characters from the story. These can be shepherds in Bethlehem, sheep, angels, Mary and Joseph, etc. Two players leave the room and they choose two characters from the story. They are free to choose whoever they like. Then they return to the room and silently perform a pantomime representing the characters. The rest of the group have to figure out who they are. We can have more than one round and encourage the actors to choose the key characters in the story, and not to be afraid to be the part. At the end we will talk about the characters and what it felt like for the actors to impersonate them.
The group leader draws a meandering path on the floor with a piece of chalk. The pairs have to follow the path. One of them is blindfolded. The other is not allowed to touch him or speak any words. The group agrees on three sounds they are allowed to use to navigate their partners.
The players stand in a circle holding hands. One person is sent out of the room. The group agrees where the two gates ( the meeting of two hands) are; here the person in the middle can leave the circle. When the circle is bigger than 10 people you can have three gates. The players ought to give inviting or refusing looks to the player looking for the gates. They have to look into the eyes of this player and indicate yes or no by just looking at them. It is not allowed to support the gate searcher by moving their heads or eyes towards the gate. When the player in the middle moves in the wrong direction, the players in the circle have to remain holding hands. When the person finds the gate it opens up in front of them. If the player guesses wrong three times in a row, the group will decide if they give them another chance or not.
Version A Four people are sitting around a sheet of A3 paper pens, pencils or crayons etc. in their hands. Their task is to draw something blindfolded. (e.g. a nativity scene with the Holy Family, angels, shepherds, and animals) They are allowed to talk, but they can only see the picture after it is finished. Version B: Two people sit with a sheet of paper. One is drawing blindfolded what the other, the storyteller is explaining. The storyteller is allowed to speak, but is not allowed to touch their partner. When the first picture is finished, they swap roles and draw another picture on the opposite side of the paper. Give the pairs time at the end to look at the drawings and talk about how they could cooperate and create something together.
(A short body sensing exercise may be helpful as well, see an example here).
Prepare the room nicely. Push the furniture, desks, chairs to the walls to create some space where you can make a friendly nook to curl up on cushions and blankets. Make it very cosy. Light a scented candle.
It was Christmas Day and all the folks had driven to church except grandmother and I. I believe we were all alone in the house. We had not been permitted to go along, because one of us was too old and the other was too young. And we were sad, both of us, because we had not been taken to early mass to hear the singing and to see the Christmas candles.
But as we sat there in our loneliness, grandmother began to tell a story.
There was a man who went out in the dark night to borrow live coals to kindle a fire. He went from hut to hut and knocked. „Dear friends, help me!” said he. „My wife has just given birth to a child, and I must make a fire to warm her and the little one.”
But it was way in the night, and all the people were asleep. No one replied.
The man walked and walked. At last, he saw the gleam of a fire a long way off. Then he went in that direction and saw that the fire was burning in the open. A lot of sheep were sleeping around the fire, and an old shepherd sat and watched over the flock.
When the man who wanted to borrow fire came up to the sheep, he saw that three big dogs lay asleep at the shepherd’s feet. All three awoke when the man approached and opened their great jaws, as though they wanted to bark; but not a sound was heard. The man noticed that the hair on their backs stood up and that their sharp, white teeth glistened in the firelight. They dashed toward him.
He felt that one of them bit at his leg, and one at his hand, and that one clung to his throat. But their jaws and teeth wouldn’t obey them, and the man didn’t suffer the least harm.
Now the man wished to go farther, to get what he needed. But the sheep lay back to back and so close to one another that he couldn’t pass them. Then the man stepped upon their backs and walked over them and up to the fire. And not one of the animals awoke or moved.
When the man had almost reached the fire, the shepherd looked up. He was a surly old man, who was unfriendly and harsh toward human beings. And when he saw the strange man coming, he seized the long, spiked staff, which he always held in his hand when he tended his flock, and threw it at him. The staff came right toward the man, but, before it reached him, it turned off to one side and whizzed past him, far out in the meadow.
Now the man came up to the shepherd and said to him: „Good man, help me, and lend me a little fire! My wife has just given birth to a child, and I must make a fire to warm her and the little one.”
The shepherd would rather have said no, but when he pondered that the dogs couldn’t hurt the man, and the sheep had not run from him and that the staff had not wished to strike him, he was a little afraid, and dared not deny the man that which he asked.
„Take as much as you need!” he said to the man.
But then the fire was nearly burnt out. There were no logs or branches left, only a big heap of live coals, and the stranger had neither spade nor shovel wherein he could carry the red-hot coals.
When the shepherd saw this, he said again: „Take as much as you need!” And he was glad that the man wouldn’t be able to take away any coals.
But the man stopped and picked coals from the ashes with his bare hands, and laid them in his mantle. And he didn’t burn his hands when he touched them, nor did the coals scorch his mantle; but he carried them away as if they had been nuts or apples.
And when the shepherd, who was such a cruel and hardhearted man, saw all this, he began to wonder to himself. What kind of a night is this, when the dogs do not bite, the sheep are not scared, the staff does not kill, or the fire does not scorch? He called the stranger back and said to him: „What kind of a night is this? And how does it happen that all things show you compassion?”
Then said the man: „I cannot tell you if you yourself do not see it.” And he wished to go his way, that he might soon make a fire and warm his wife and child.
But the shepherd did not wish to lose sight of the man before he had found out what all this might portend. He got up and followed the man till they came to the place where he lived.
Then the shepherd saw the man didn’t have so much as a hut to dwell in, but that his wife and babe were lying in a mountain grotto, where there was nothing except the cold and naked stone walls.
But the shepherd thought that perhaps the poor innocent child might freeze to death there in the grotto; and, although he was a hard man, he was touched, and thought he would like to help it. And he loosened the knapsack from his shoulder, took from it a soft white sheepskin, gave it to the strange man, and said that he should let the child sleep on it.
But just as soon as he showed that he, too, could be merciful, his eyes were opened, and he saw what he had not been able to see before, and heard what he could not have heard before.
He saw that all around him stood a ring of little silver-winged angels, and each held a stringed instrument, and all sang in loud tones that tonight the Saviour was born who should redeem the world from its sins.
Then he understood how all things were so happy that night that they didn’t want to do anything wrong.
And it was not only around the shepherd that there were angels, but he saw them everywhere. They sat inside the grotto, they sat outside on the mountain, and they flew under the heavens. They came marching in great companies, and, as they passed, they paused and cast a glance at the child.
There was such jubilation and such gladness and songs and play! And all this he saw in the dark night whereas before he could not have made out anything. He was so happy because his eyes had been opened that he fell upon his knees and thanked God.
What that shepherd saw, we might also see, for the angels fly down from heaven every Christmas Eve, if we could only see them.
You must remember this, for it is as true, as true as that I see you and you see me. It is not revealed by the light of lamps or candles, and it does not depend upon sun and moon, but that which is needful is that we have such eyes as can see God’s glory
The main goal is to get closer to the story. The Scripture does not give a very detailed description of the people in the story. We do not know what they felt or thought. If we try to imagine what else may have happened to these people that day: they had dinner, they made preparations before their journey, somebody was in a hurry and his ankle buckled, the events in the Bible story may become more real for us. We can also try to imagine ourselves in their places. What would we have done in their place? What would have been our reaction?
Read all the variations and choose the one you feel closest to yourself. When the group finishes one, always have a discussion about it. When there is nothing more to say, choose another variation to process the story. You do not have to do all of them, just the ones you feel may help the group.
After reading the story and the Scripture, divide the group into even smaller groups who will prepare to present one scene. Feel free to make your own version, but make sure there is a fire in each vignette. You can use a red scarf that represents the fire.
As you are doing the interview, go up to the person, squat down to his or her level, and talk so that everyone can hear you very well.
After all the scenes were presented, we started a discussion about the fire. What does it represent? What is the light we all are looking for? What is Joseph looking for?
Sit in a circle and discuss the experience. Talk about the pain, joy, difficulties and beauty of birth. Why do you think God decided to take upon Himself the miracle of incarnation, to become human, while he clearly did not need to do so.
Who are we: the shepherd and Joseph. (Draw the silhouettes of the two figures on a sheet of brown wrapping paper at the beginning of this activity.)
Guided silent meditation is when the group contemplates the theme in silence most of the time. However, the group leader does not leave them completely alone with their thoughts, feelings and meditation. From time to time (every 30-60 seconds) he inserts a new question or idea in the silence that prompts further meditation and helps the children regain their focus.
What are our desires, what attracts us: What is the fire - the light we and the shepherds are looking for? What is their strongest desire, and what are their feelings?
How do we get there? Obstacles and miracles.
Gift
Give small pieces of paper and pens to all participants.
Everybody thinks about 3 good things and 3 difficulties related to Christmas. The children draw the three good things on one side of their paper, and the 3 difficulties on the back. Let them work for a while in silence.
Sharing. The children talk about their papers in twos first. The pairs choose one good thing and one difficulty, and share it with the whole group.
The best Christmas present — guided imagination
The group leaders can prepare for this activity by reading the following thoughts by Hungarian Jesuit Ferenc Patsch SJ
What would you like for Christmas? Lean back and close your eyes. Imagine the Christmas tree all shiny and beautiful, with dozens of wrapped Christmas presents under it. Go to the tree and pick up your present. The box contains exactly what you really wanted, and you got it from the very person whom you wanted to get it from.
We played this game with a group of best friends. We all know and like each other quite well, and we are not ashamed to openly share our thoughts and feelings when we are together.
Almost all the women wanted their husbands to listen to them quietly, and spend more time together. Most of the men first started talking about cool gadgets and sports equipment, but then they decided on a week of rest, some freedom from the daily routine and escaping from the world of work performance and responsibilities. So even the men wanted something that they were not able to accomplish alone, a need that their spouse could notice and maybe allow them to have.
A couple with adult children shared what happened to them last Christmas. That was their first Christmas when none of their children could come to visit, so there were just the two of them. Somehow they were not motivated to do the usual preparations, the tree was not very nicely decorated, the room was not very orderly, and it was already Christmas Eve. Then they consciously made a decision together to not get upset about it. They sat down in their armchairs and played a game. The rule was to remember something the other person made them happy in the past year. They both were quite surprised how many things they remembered. There were little things they never thought the other would notice, and things they did not even mean to make the other happy. After their game they found some leftovers to heat up and had dinner in such peace. It was the best Christmas Eve.
And You? What do you want for Christmas?
Guided meditation: let everybody imagine the most beautiful Christmas when everyone gets what they most long for. Use your own words or read the following slowly:
Use a stopwatch to measure 30 and 60 seconds between the sentences. Do not be afraid of silence.
Everybody shares what was in their box. In a second round the children can talk about what touched them the most in what the others shared. Would you like to change your present for that? Did you understand something?
If somebody does not want to share, it is allowed to pass. But ask them again, maybe they just need a bit of encouragement.
The poor, wicked shepherd in the story saw the world through his dark glasses for a very long time. When he saw the miracles around him, he became curious, and this is how eventually he ended up in front of the child Jesus. And only then he realized that he can look upon the world differently: he began to see the angels, the celebration, the happiness.
Making eye-glasses. We cut out a pair of cardboard spectacle frames, the bigger the better. The “lenses” can be made of coloured foil or nothing. It is important that we can see through them.
The group leader tries on the spectacles. These are the spectacles of Jesus. When you look through them, you can see the way He sees us. His loving attention also forms us.
Everybody quietly tries on the spectacles and looks through them. One by one, without talking, every group member stands behind the cardboard spectacles and tries to imagine what Jesus may see.
We do not see each other in the same way. Have a discussion about it.
Here the story of Zacheus may be helpful | Luke 19.
Nagyon figyelj, mert a világot / teszed is azzá aminek látod. Fodor Ákos: Axióma.
“Be careful! You shape the world as you perceive it!” Ákos Fodor: Axiom
Looking upon them prayerfully
The group leader can decide if everyone has to say something good and beautiful about himself or if they have enough depth to say something about the other people in the room. Or both.
Poor shepherd could not see clearly, that is why he could not find the right direction. Very often we are also in some sort of fog or mist, even darkness. It is not easy to see clearly and walk in the right direction.
Guided, silent activity — meditation and drawing
Teaching: It is not by accident that we have Christmas now, in December. This is the time of the winter solstice, when the days start to become longer. It is a turning point in the struggle between light and darkness, and there will be more and more light.
Discussion
The children may choose which part of their picture they want to talk about. It is not necessary to talk about everything in the picture. However, if someone seems to cut it too short, you can help him with a few questions so that he can start talking. No need to put pressure on anybody.
This creative activity summarizes the whole retreat. It is a creation that the whole school puts together, also it is the creations of the small groups, something that your group made and contributed to the whole community, and also it is becoming a personal reflection at the same time. Every group makes their parts or persons for the Nativity. The members of the Holy Family will be the size of a shoebox, so the whole thing will occupy a couple of square metres. The chart below shows the possible persons and parts to build. We will build the Nativity in the Church.
The birth of Christ has made the whole world and our lives in it more beautiful. We would like to point to and emphasize this beauty so that everyone can see it. This is why we build a Nativity, and everyone has a place around it. First the light was shining on only the Holy Family then it was extended to the shepherds, then to the Magi, and eventually the light will shine on everybody in the whole world.
In the time of Saint Francis of Assissi the Holy Land was very dangerous, and not many people could afford to travel that far. However, It was very important for Saint Francis, (and later for Saint Ignatius of Loyola too), to see and touch the holy places where the nativity and the other events of the life of Jesus took place. This was the reason why Saint Francis built the first Nativity scene: if we are not able to travel there, the Holy family will come to us. The Incarnation is like that too: God is coming to stay among us.
Writing prayers: Every object has a part where the groups can write something. The flames of the fire, the branches of the tree, the floorboards of the stable etc. These inscriptions can be either a prayer, a request, thanksgiving related to Christmas, an attribute of the light coming to shine upon us, attributes of Joseph, Mary, an important thing that is necessary in order to have a good Christmas, or a beautiful Christmas memory.
Parts of the Nativity
The teachers who do not lead any groups today help lay the foundations of the Nativity scene in the church. They carry tables and screens (we are to hang the heaven and the earth from those) and some sheets or curtains, etc.
It is not important to have absolutely everything. Also, we can have two, three or even more elements. We can use whatever we have
Eggboxes, paper, lollipop sticks and other Nativity craft ideas. ( https://anapfenyillata.cafeblog.hu/2014/11/24/adventi-uzenet/, https://craftyjournal.com/nativity-children-crafts/, https://catholicsprouts.com/33-nativity-crafts-christmas)
Our creations will be quite diverse. There will be smaller or bigger objects, some more colorful while others are paler, there are tidy-looking ones and wrinkled ones. This will be the beauty of it. We are also very diverse, and everybody comes according to their own means in that originally gray, dirty and smelly stable to stand before the Savior. Our common, most important goal is to go and stand before Him, that is what we want to express with our creations.
| Sky | Every group has one sheet. They can paint stars, blue sky, clouds. We will pin or peg all the sheets together to make one big sky. |
| Hills and mountains | One sheet of wrapping paper for each group. We are going to pin them on the bottom of the hanging sky. The mountains can be green, and we can paint trees, bushes, sheep on them, or cut them out of colorured paper. |
| Manger | Made of a shoebox. The hay in it is made of stripes of paper with thoughts/prayers written on them. |
| Joseph and Mary | They are made of shoeboxes. We can paint their faces on the shoebox or cut them out of cardboard. We can make their clothes out of colored tissue paper. We can put our prayers in the boxes. |
| Shepherds | Made of shoeboxes, just like Joseph and Mary. |
| Angels | Same as Shepherds |
| Magi | Same as Shepherds |
| Animals (ox, donkey, sheep, any other) | It does not matter if the sizes are not realistically proportioned. Younger children can paste some cotton wool on cardboard to make sheep etc. The children who are very good ar craft can make clay statues. |
| Stars | We can make paper stars (everyone folds just one element and the group puts together a big star gluing the elements together) https://www.katped.hu/sites/default/files/ujjgyakorlat.pdf |
| Fire / fires | We cut out the flames from red and orange A4 paper. We place the flames in a star shape and fold them, so they stand up and resemble an actual bonfire. We can write our prayers on the flames. |
| The town of Bethlehem | We can paint it on wrapping paper, or make a city out of shoeboxes. Sizes and proportions do not matter. |
| Rocks, bushes, forests, other objects | If we have many groups we can invent something for them to make. Those objects and persons can also appear in the Nativity scene. |
Build the Nativity by all means, even if there is no time for Holy Mass. Sing songs and we can say a beautiful blessing at the end.
The group leaders arrive at the church with their groups at least 15 minutes before the Mass. They bring the things they made. Teachers help the groups put their objects in the assigned places and assemble the Nativity.
Sing Advent songs while waiting.
Traditional Holy Mass follows. Beautiful Gregorian chants or the organ can add a lot to the children’s enjoyment of the Mass, especially if they can join in.
At the end the priest may bless the Nativity scene. (See the Book of Blessings) The Nativity scene will be presented throughout the winter holidays to bring the joy of Christs’s birth to the faithful.
Recommended songs for worship or holy mass:
After the Holy Mass all group leaders proceed to the previously arranged room to look back on the day and give thanks for the service.