We organized this retreat in the JEZSU in 2016 Advent, with 600 students. The description below can be handed out to the group leaders as is.
The foundation of our Christian life is gratefulness for the love of God. We are not motivated by the fear of punishment but by gratitude. If we can rekindle the gratitude in our hearts for the small and great things we received from God, through one another, our hearts will open. We are seeking gratitude and its root, God in this retreat with the help of a short parable.
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It is important to choose a location for the starting activity where there is enough space for everyone, with good visibility and acoustics for the starting input. The starting activity is only 20 minutes long, therefore we can start the retreat in the school yard even in cold weather. A good sound system is essential. We will need at least 2 microphones.
Singing We can start with a song to help everybody arrive, calm down and focus.
Recommended songs: In the Lord I’ll Be Ever Thankful (Taize) or Blessed Be Your Name (Matt Redman).
Singing together or learning a new song is a much more efficient tool of silencing a larger group of lively children than trying to shoo them. However, here the help of adults standing among the children is necessary.
Greeting We greet the participants. The greeting must be simple and very short, e.g.: „Good morning, everybody. Let us start our retreat. Our theme today is gratitude. What does it mean to us? Let us watch the first skit. ”
The skit Students perform the first skit.
Two students with good reading skills read out the conversation, while two others act out the story in a pantomime with slightly exaggerated gestures.
Listen to the song ‘No Charge’ by Tina and Tammy on which the story is based. youtube.com/watch?&v=jmL2vheZ7C8!
One evening Mom was cooking at the stove, when her 11 year old son appeared at the door with a piece of paper in his hand. He gave it to his mother solemnly.
Mom wiped her hands in her apron and started reading:
| for weeding the flower bed | 2 $ |
| for tidying my room | 3 $ |
| for going to the store | 1 $ |
| for babysitting my brother 3 afternoons | 5 $ |
| for getting two As at school | 3 $ |
| for taking out the dustbin every day | 2 $ |
| TOTAL: | 17 $ |
After reading it Mom looked at her son…
So many memories came to her mind …
Then she took a pen and another piece of paper and started writing:
| for the 9 months I carried you growing under my heart | 0 $ |
| for the nights I’ve sat up with you, doctored you, prayed for you | 0 $ |
| for every time I was rocking and comforting you | 0 $ |
| for every time I dried your tears | 0 $ |
| for everything I ever taught you | 0 $ |
| for the toys, food and clothes and for wiping your nose | 0 $ |
| The full cost of my love and my whole life that I am giving to you | 0 $ |
| TOTAL: | 0 $ |
Amikor befejezte, édesanyja mosolyogva nyújtotta át a papírt fiának.
The boy started reading…
and his eyes filled with tears.
He held the paper to his heart and scribbled on his own paper:
FULLY PAID!
The group leaders can create their own list of chores including whatever they think more appropriate. They may want to replace some items with things that happen in their lives. This will also be an activity for the group.
Thought morsels: Children are gifts to their parents, group leaders are gifts to the participants, you are all gifts to one another. Let us rejoice in each other.
We are gifts: The leader of the opening activity asks the whole student body to turn away and look for the surprise in another direction. „Please turn around and look that way. There is a surprise for you!”
Announcements for the journey: the schedule for the retreat, what happens next, and when to come again to meet in this location.
„„ Go and spend some time thinking and talking about if it is true that we are all gifts for one another. ”
The heart and soul of a retreat is the small group activity. Prepare the location beforehand so that it is welcoming and comfortable. Place chairs, cushions or blankets in a circle, put a candle in the middle, play pleasant music.
To have a meaningful and beautiful time with the group, the participants need to be able to listen to God and one another. Therefore:
Icebreakers or introduction games help us arrive. We move around, meet one another, and eventually quieten down. It is time well spent. We can spend as long as 30 minutes here.
The games listed here are only suggestions. Choose the ones you enjoyed the most during the preparatory sessions.
It is not a problem if some of them already know the game. They can play it again.
When you return after a break, start with a game that helps the group calm down (make sure this game is not too lively).
Accessories | newspapers All the participants are penguins standing on an ice-floe. The ice-floe is made of newspapers stapled or taped together, large enough for the whole group to stand on comfortably. The group leaders prepare it before the retreat. The whole group is standing on the ice-floe, and the master of the game is narrating what is happening. The group leader tells the penguins about the waves and the winds and what they can see as their ice-floe is traveling on the ocean. As they reach warmer waters the ice starts melting and becomes smaller and smaller. From time to time the master of the game tears some of the newspaper off, and the group is traveling on the smaller and smaller ice up to the point when the surface is so small that it is barely enough for them to stay on it together. Penguins always stay together.
The players walk about randomly in the room. At the beginning we agree that everybody is 90 years old. When the leader gives a signal they start talking to each other or creating situations as 90 year-olds would do. On the next signal (clapping, blowing a whistle or changing the music etc.) they become sixty year-olds, and in each signal continue becoming younger: 40, 25, 15, 10, 5 year-olds. Quiet variation: We can play the game silently, only with gestures and movements. After the game we discuss their experiences, feelings relating to the various stages of life. This game may help the children have a healthier, more understanding attitude toward the elderly. Also, we can talk about the passing of time and the changes happening in us.
The players have to line up according to their date of birth. It is forbidden to speak, but they can give signals. ‘The floor is lava!’ version: We may place newspapers on the floor, and the players must stand on them. There must be two extra newspapers on the floor on which they can stand. The floor is lava, therefore players are not allowed to step on the floor only on the newspapers. They are allowed to move the extra papers wherever they need to step in the line. When they are lined up, check the results by everybody telling their date of birth. Blindfolded version: You can play it allowing the players to speak, but they have to line up blindfolded.
Preparation: distribute the slips of paper and everyone has to have a pen or pencil. They can place them on the floor next to their seats.
This exercise helps get in the mood before dealing with serious topics.
The group leader says the following: „Sit down comfortably… close your eyes… focus on what you are sensing in your body at this moment… What does the shoe feel like for your feet? What do you feel?… It is good we have feet… Feel the trousers or skirt on your legs… are your legs relaxed? Or tingling? It is good to have legs to take us to places… You are sitting on the chair. Is it hard or soft? It is good to have a body that can sit… ”
Continue in this manner: back, shoulders, arms, palms, neck, jaw, head…
When we have completed all the body parts the leader says: „Thank you Lord that we are here. Thank you for life and thank you that we can move. Amen.”
Group leader: „Keep your eyes closed and as you are listening, try to savour these sentences in your mind.”
Read the sentences one by one:
Silence makes you sense time differently, 60 seconds may seem much longer. Do not hesitate to use a timer to make sure there is enough time between the sentences. The goal is that everyone can receive the message.
For younger children drawing may work better. See description below.
The participants stay in silence while they take their pens and papers.
Group leader: „I am going to read a few questions. Please think about them, and write down your answers. It is just for yourself, you will not have to show it to anyone.”
Wait 2 minutes between the questions to allow enough time for the participants to write down their answers.
You are a gift:
You receive gifts:
When did you feel that you were given a gift? Write three columns:
Gifts we take for granted:
The point of sharing is that the participants can express what happened in their souls during the meditative part earlier. The words they speak out will cleanse their emotions, and they will help each other by sharing their own struggles and joys. The group leaders must make sure that everybody has a chance to speak, and they have to encourage and help the quieter children as well.
A good sharing can make or break the whole retreat. If the group can go deep in the topic, it is well worth the time.
It may be helpful to start with a short question and answer session, going in a circle, and later the group can have an unstructured discussion. Make sure they do not go astray from the topic, and that everybody has a chance to speak.
A beszélgetést segíthetik a következő kérdések:
You do not have to use all these helping questions. As soon as the group engages in a serious discussion about being a gift or receiving gifts, about gratefulness, let them continue the discussion as long as possible.
It may happen that a group is not able to continue the discussion very long or the discussion stays quite superficial. In such cases we can choose from the activities below to help the participants enter into a more profound way of thinking.
Let us read and try out these activities during the preparation period to make sure we have something to go to if the group needs it.
Everyone writes 5 gifts that are important for him or her, on 5 separate pieces of paper (the size of a playing card or a bank card). We put all the cards in one pile and shuffle them.
We choose one group member, for whom everybody else has to select and hand a gift card from the pile and explain why he would give this to him or her. (because this suits her personality, or it is important for her etc.)
When this round is finished, we put back all the gift cards on the pile, shuffle them, and choose the next person. We continue until everyone has received their cards and explanations. — #8
We then may continue either of two ways:
We can use this game instead of the MEDITATING ON THREE LISTS OF GIFTS.
Divide the participants into the smallest groups possible. Every group will decide what the most important/most beautiful gifts are at home, at school, in the class, in other communities, in the afternoons etc. Then every group will present the gift they decided on in a still image or as if they were a group of sculptures. They may express emotions vocally but not with words.
The other participants have to guess what gift they are trying to represent. After each successful guessing the group can explain why it was the most important for them.
Instead of writing down the MEDITATING ON THREE LISTS OF GIFTS -, the points may be represented with simple drawings. The title of the first picture will be: “I am a gift for others”. Allow enough time for the children to draw, and encourage them to make it as detailed as possible. Then everyone shows their picture and the group can talk about it. (Agree with the children that nobody is using judgemental words like ‘ugly’, ‘lame’, ‘quite pretty’ or similar, but encourage them to pay attention to the contents.
The next picture may be called “Everything I got from my family”. You may give several titles, and everyone can choose what they find most inspiring. Again, help them to draw details, and discuss the pictures.
The third picture is called “I am a gift in the eyes of God, and He rejoices in me”. Do not be afraid to give such a title, the children will know what to draw.
The group members will act out an ordinary day. The goal is that they realize how many people they meet whom they can be grateful to. You can write these people on post-it notes and stick them on the wall for all to see.
For example the group leader asks ‘How do you come to school?’ Someone says, ‘by bus’. Then ask this child to act out as he is taking the bus, and say, ‘Do you meet anyone in the bus?’ Then someone may remember the bus driver, whom we can be thankful for driving us to school. Then someone can pantomime the bus driver for a few seconds, and you can write “bus driver ” on a post-it, and someone can stick it on the wall. Then you can ask the next question. “Have you met anyone at the gate in the morning?” and so on. We do not need to force them to always find someone to thank, but encourage them and prompt them with helpful questions. It will be a heartwarming feeling to look at the collection of names on the wall at the end.
It takes a bit longer than we usually think. Calculate extra time for tidying up afterwards.
„ We are going to collect the most important gifts we have received. We are writing them all on a cash register tape or bill. This cash register tape will be similar to the bill in the first story: we have many many things we have received and were paid for a long time ago”
Make a long dtrip of paper stapling 3 sheets of A4 paper together at the short ends.
Write a list of gifts you have received on it.
Prepare the space for the prayer together: tidy up, place the seats in a circle, put a candle in the centre, you can create a makeshift cross out of whatever you have. Place the cash register tape in the centre next to the candle and the cross. As you are preparing the room, try to be quiet to prepare your souls.
Thank you God,
That I am a gift in your eyes.
That you rejoice in me.
That I have a purpose, namely to bring happiness to someone.
Therefore life would be less without me.
Because I bring colours in life.
Thank you for helping me in all this!
The group leader will say the prayer sentence by sentence, and the group repeats after him.
Or the group may pass the prayer card around and everyone can read one line. Continue until everybody has read one sentence. This way the group may repeat the prayer twice or three times.
You may write the prayer on a bigger sheet and everyone can read it out loud together.
Tidy up and put the room in order. Go to the Closing activity on time, and take your cash register tape with you.
If there is no Holy Mass at the end, the groups gather in an appropriate place to close the event. There will be final thoughts and a blessing. If there is a Holy Mass at the end, these can be inserted after the entrance procession or after the sermon.
The groups staple or tape their cash register tapes together at the end. The end result is a very very long gratitude tape.
Staplers are the most efficient tools for this, because it takes quite a long time otherwise. Several people may need to help.
Place the long (1 metre per group) tape to a place where it is visible to all: lie it in the church between the isles, or let it hang from the third floor in the school assembly hall. It is important not to roll it up, but let everyone be amazed at its length.
Sing together, learn a new song while we are waiting for the groups to arrive and staple their tape to the common tape.
No matter how well you organize the retreat, there will be groups who come a bit late. The best is to sing while we are waiting for them.
„Look how long our cash register tape is! There are so many things that we are grateful for, that we have received from God. We received all these not because we somehow managed to be good, - of course we try usually, - neither, because we deserve them. We were given all these gifts because God loves us and he is happy to give them to us.”
„Remember what you have written on this tape! And have a look at what others have written. You can even take a photo with your phone. Remember every gift listed here, so that you can remember them in hard times. And when you have good times, you can add more items to this list.”
„Pass on to others what you have received. Make it real. In the next three days show your gratitude to someone in a concrete way. This person can be your friend, teacher, family member or an “enemy”. Express your gratitude in a very concrete way, with both words and deeds.”
We can start the closing prayer with the ‘Our Father’, while everybody is holding hands if we feel it is appropriate.
„Let us ask God’s blessing and help. After each prayer let us say AMEN very loudly, because we all desire all these blessings. At the end we finish with the sign of the cross. Before the blessing we will hear the announcements.”
May God Almighty who created heaven and earth, every living thing and us people,
grant us that we notice all the wonders and gifts we have received from Him,
and rejoice in them with a pure heart. Amen!
May Jesus Christ who became man, flesh and blood, and remained faithful to the Father in suffering and joy,
keep us in times of hardship, weakness and sadness,
so that remembering his gifts we gain new strength. Amen!
May the Holy Spirit, who fills the world day by day
so that we feel the love of God in every part of the Earth,
give us creativity and enthusiasm, so that we can show his gifts to others,
and thus become gifts for one another. Amen!
And may God Almighty bless us,
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit!
If there is a priest present, he can make the blessing more solemn by beginning „The Lord be with you!” etc.
Closing song
E.g.: 10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord) by Matt Redman, Who You Say I Am by Hillsong, Who You Say I Am by Hillsong, Every Move I Make by Hillsong Kids (with dance).
Immediately after the retreat all group leaders and the organizers of the retreat come together for a 30 minute evaluation and reflection session.